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Masque Trans + BIPOC + Fier

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(iel/iels, il/lui)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

I think it was actually when I was very young - before I felt too much pressure to conform to the expectations of my gender assigned at birth. I would watch my grandpa shave his face every morning when I was around 4 or 5 years old and I wanted so badly to shave my face too. He would sometimes even put shaving cream on my face. I think looking in the mirror and doing that with him, I could see myself as trans masculine. Even when I wasn't even aware of what that meant or was. I didn't understand or uncover my transness until much later on in my life, but so many moments from my childhood were portals to what the future held for me, I just didn't know it then.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

I first saw my future as a trans man when watching videos of a Greek composer named "Yianni" in the 1990s. I liked the way Yianni dressed and I wanted to be like him when I grew up. As the years went by, I also looked to the trans men I saw featured in OP Magazine as role models for my transition.

When I was a kid, I longed for short hair. This was met with hesitation, but I got what I wanted a few times. Still, though, it didn't feel right. It took me years to figure out why.

The cuts were always styled for "girls"or "women."Even as a queer person that didn't fit me. Fast forward to 2018 - I had been questioning my gender identity when I took the plunge and made an appointment at a gender-inclusive salon. It's hard enough for me to find someone who can style my curly hair much less in a gender-affirming way but I lucked out big time. Looking in the mirror after the cut almost made me cry because for the first time I felt like myself. I later came across the term trans masculine which fit, well, to a T.

I was 18, just shy of a month away from graduating high school. I had been out as trans for about 2 years at this point. I was feeling a lot of things…hopeful, hopeless, worried, brave, careless. I struggled to accept my identity and cope with discrimination. I was a scared kid – 18, but still a kid. My therapist was helping me juggle all the conflicting emotions and to make sense of it all. I knew that I wanted to start T. We located an LGBTQ+ clinic about 2 hours away where I could be evaluated for HRT; something I wanted so badly.

A few weeks later, I was on a train heading into the city for my first appointment, and to my first HRT prescription. I remembered feeling anxious, then overwhelmed with hope and excitement for the first time in a very long, long time. I pictured my future self; what would he look like? Would he have a beard? A gruff voice? Would a change of name come next, or perhaps a look into top surgery? The possibilities finally felt endless. I could see the future; my future as a happy, resilient, transgender man, and I wasn’t scared anymore.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

As a child, I never questioned the way others presented themselves freely, but I would always questioned the way I presented myself and how I didn’t feel connected femininity until I became in touch with my masculinity.

The first moment I saw myself as a trans man is when I saw The Phantom from Phantom of the opera. He described my bipolar and schizophrenia so well. I named myself after him. Erik is alive.

Even though I came out in highschool, I truly saw my future when I was able to get on t-shots. Medically transitioning had a lot of bumps for me, and getting to finally see the changes I wanted to see was euphoric. It really helped me envision what the rest of my life would look like, where I could be seen how I am.

I knew I was different as a kid but I never saw my future as a trans man until I was 30 y/o and I decided to escape my abusive marriage and live my truth.

The first moment I could see my future as a transman I was 17 and had gone to my first LGBTQ center. I remember my best friend coming with me and asking all of the questions I was afraid to ask. I had never had anyone affirm the feelings I had and help me to understand what my trans identity truly was until that day. Having my best friend there for support really gave me the confidence I needed to fully live in my truth.

The first time I saw myself as a trans masculine person was as a child. I would wear these overalls all the time and as I grew up I continued to feel the most happiness when rebelling against what I was expected to wear.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

For me it wasn't a grand event. I believe I was in the 6th grade at the time so I was no older than 13. All I remember is talking with an online friend over Skype who explained that they were transgender and told me about what that was like. As I was listening to them I realized that I was too and accepted it instantly. I've been identifying as male ever since and was always excited at the prospect of becoming a transman. I still haven't begun transitioning but I look forward to it every day.

(il/lui, Tous pronoms)

I think I've always been how I am. I just didn't have the words for it until I was older. I co-founded my high school's Gay Straight Alliance as a teen and I think that it ultimately helped me to be a part of a community that could understand some of what I was going through.

This question is wild because before I transitioned to live authentically I legitimately never had a vision of my future self. Once I was about two years into my medical transition I saw myself in the mirror and the world stopped for a moment because I felt a wave of alignment and peace take over me. Now I'm teaching myself that I can have whatever future I create and I'm not limited to loneliness.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

When I first left my home country where it's a criminal offense to be queer/trans with more emerging bills limiting our existence & presentation.

I googled if it was possible for a female to become a male in 2011 and found a YouTube video of a famous trans man and that's when I realized it was possible for me.

There was no representation for trans men in my life until 10 years ago or so. As a child I never saw my life as any role that pertains to most cisgender females. As a child I viewed myself as male. It wasn't until I discovered a trans men community on YouTube. I relayed to most of the stories. I used to believe this ideology that I'm trapped in the wrong body. However as of late I realized I was born transgender. There was no trauma related incident or experience that has led me to this point this is who I've always been.

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

I had a buddy of mine over dinner casually say "yeah I think you're trans". I had never even thought that was a possibility. I knew I didn't feel female. But I didn't know I could be a male.

(Pas de pronoms)

It was following an interaction with a stranger on an elevator my second year on testosterone. We rode up 26 floors in silence. As I was exiting the elevator he said take it easy, brother. It struck me in that moment that I was for all intents and purposes just a dude which felt exceedingly validating.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

I think it was actually when I was very young - before I felt too much pressure to conform to the expectations of my gender assigned at birth. I would watch my grandpa shave his face every morning when I was around 4 or 5 years old and I wanted so badly to shave my face too. He would sometimes even put shaving cream on my face. I think looking in the mirror and doing that with him, I could see myself as trans masculine. Even when I wasn't even aware of what that meant or was. I didn't understand or uncover my transness until much later on in my life, but so many moments from my childhood were portals to what the future held for me, I just didn't know it then.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

I first saw my future as a trans man when watching videos of a Greek composer named "Yianni" in the 1990s. I liked the way Yianni dressed and I wanted to be like him when I grew up. As the years went by, I also looked to the trans men I saw featured in OP Magazine as role models for my transition.

When I was a kid, I longed for short hair. This was met with hesitation, but I got what I wanted a few times. Still, though, it didn't feel right. It took me years to figure out why.

The cuts were always styled for "girls"or "women."Even as a queer person that didn't fit me. Fast forward to 2018 - I had been questioning my gender identity when I took the plunge and made an appointment at a gender-inclusive salon. It's hard enough for me to find someone who can style my curly hair much less in a gender-affirming way but I lucked out big time. Looking in the mirror after the cut almost made me cry because for the first time I felt like myself. I later came across the term trans masculine which fit, well, to a T.

I was 18, just shy of a month away from graduating high school. I had been out as trans for about 2 years at this point. I was feeling a lot of things…hopeful, hopeless, worried, brave, careless. I struggled to accept my identity and cope with discrimination. I was a scared kid – 18, but still a kid. My therapist was helping me juggle all the conflicting emotions and to make sense of it all. I knew that I wanted to start T. We located an LGBTQ+ clinic about 2 hours away where I could be evaluated for HRT; something I wanted so badly.

A few weeks later, I was on a train heading into the city for my first appointment, and to my first HRT prescription. I remembered feeling anxious, then overwhelmed with hope and excitement for the first time in a very long, long time. I pictured my future self; what would he look like? Would he have a beard? A gruff voice? Would a change of name come next, or perhaps a look into top surgery? The possibilities finally felt endless. I could see the future; my future as a happy, resilient, transgender man, and I wasn’t scared anymore.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

As a child, I never questioned the way others presented themselves freely, but I would always questioned the way I presented myself and how I didn’t feel connected femininity until I became in touch with my masculinity.

The first moment I saw myself as a trans man is when I saw The Phantom from Phantom of the opera. He described my bipolar and schizophrenia so well. I named myself after him. Erik is alive.

Even though I came out in highschool, I truly saw my future when I was able to get on t-shots. Medically transitioning had a lot of bumps for me, and getting to finally see the changes I wanted to see was euphoric. It really helped me envision what the rest of my life would look like, where I could be seen how I am.

I knew I was different as a kid but I never saw my future as a trans man until I was 30 y/o and I decided to escape my abusive marriage and live my truth.

The first moment I could see my future as a transman I was 17 and had gone to my first LGBTQ center. I remember my best friend coming with me and asking all of the questions I was afraid to ask. I had never had anyone affirm the feelings I had and help me to understand what my trans identity truly was until that day. Having my best friend there for support really gave me the confidence I needed to fully live in my truth.

The first time I saw myself as a trans masculine person was as a child. I would wear these overalls all the time and as I grew up I continued to feel the most happiness when rebelling against what I was expected to wear.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

For me it wasn't a grand event. I believe I was in the 6th grade at the time so I was no older than 13. All I remember is talking with an online friend over Skype who explained that they were transgender and told me about what that was like. As I was listening to them I realized that I was too and accepted it instantly. I've been identifying as male ever since and was always excited at the prospect of becoming a transman. I still haven't begun transitioning but I look forward to it every day.

(il/lui, Tous pronoms)

I think I've always been how I am. I just didn't have the words for it until I was older. I co-founded my high school's Gay Straight Alliance as a teen and I think that it ultimately helped me to be a part of a community that could understand some of what I was going through.

This question is wild because before I transitioned to live authentically I legitimately never had a vision of my future self. Once I was about two years into my medical transition I saw myself in the mirror and the world stopped for a moment because I felt a wave of alignment and peace take over me. Now I'm teaching myself that I can have whatever future I create and I'm not limited to loneliness.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

When I first left my home country where it's a criminal offense to be queer/trans with more emerging bills limiting our existence & presentation.

I googled if it was possible for a female to become a male in 2011 and found a YouTube video of a famous trans man and that's when I realized it was possible for me.

There was no representation for trans men in my life until 10 years ago or so. As a child I never saw my life as any role that pertains to most cisgender females. As a child I viewed myself as male. It wasn't until I discovered a trans men community on YouTube. I relayed to most of the stories. I used to believe this ideology that I'm trapped in the wrong body. However as of late I realized I was born transgender. There was no trauma related incident or experience that has led me to this point this is who I've always been.

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

I had a buddy of mine over dinner casually say "yeah I think you're trans". I had never even thought that was a possibility. I knew I didn't feel female. But I didn't know I could be a male.

(Pas de pronoms)

It was following an interaction with a stranger on an elevator my second year on testosterone. We rode up 26 floors in silence. As I was exiting the elevator he said take it easy, brother. It struck me in that moment that I was for all intents and purposes just a dude which felt exceedingly validating.

Dessin de personnage par Joey Borrelli.