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The first moment I could see my future as a trans man or trans masculine person was...
It is NEVER too late to embrace the truth of who you are! It took me a lifetime to get here but I love who I am now. There were no words for how I felt as I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I realized I could express how I felt inside. I discovered communities online that were just like me. A lifetime of confusion, unhappiness, repression, oppression melted away. I discovered words to match my identity:non-binary transmasculine lesbian. I proudly wear these words and my pronouns. I started a new job a year and a half ago so I could begin a new chapter not hiding who I am. My company supports and respects me. They have made extra effort to alter official company paperwork to match my identity.I still feel waves of happiness every time I am addressed by proper pronouns. I have a wife who loves me for exactly who I am. The second half of my life is going to be amazing!
Resources that helped me...
Discovering online communities of those who felt similarly to me was the key. I had no reference to understanding of my identity. Growing up and living in a very fundamentalist, conservative community, there were zero examples of LGBTQ people and any inclination to be other than cishet was suppressed. Reddit in particular was central to exploring my identity. Finding new doctors who were gender-affirming became critical. My endocrinologist endorsing testosterone therapy has helped me fully embrace my identity. I have yet to decide whether to pursue top surgery, but I know I have the support network in place if that time comes.
Character drawings by Joey Borrelli.
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