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(, il/lui, iel/iels)

When I first was introduced to the prospect that people are not always cisgender, I was absolutely confused more than anything else. Trans people around me would describe how they experienced gender, and I would mull it over for a long time--how could they be trans if they described feeling exactly like I did, and I wasn't trans? Isn't that just how everybody felt?

I was talking about this with my first queer therapist at the time, and she invited me to consider: how did I know what gender I was?

All of a sudden, things changed for me. Trans folks were no longer other people living separate lives, completely distinct from mine--I was a trans person myself!

At first, this was terrifying, to be honest. I had been given a whole road map to follow for my life as a person assigned female at birth, and suddenly I was realizing that a lot of those things weren't guarantees--in fact, they were actually entirely optional.

This kept happening for me as I got more involved in my local trans community. All of the rules in my life that I had clung to for so long started seeming less absolute, less restrictive, and more like something I could CHOOSE to take or leave based on what I wanted to give structure in my life.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I knew I could envision transitioning the first day I wore a chest binder.

I was always called a tomboy, then less nice descriptive words. I'm a teacher and "that moment" for me was when a rising middle school student (entering 6th grade) stopped me and asked my pronouns that I felt seen. This kid saw me as what I was, a human that exists outside of the role that society expected me to play.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The first time I knew I was going to be ok as a trans man was when I came out to friends in high school, and they supported me.

At 10 years old (1980) I identified with male characters and actors.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

During Covid while on instagram and Reddit. I saw happy and successful trans masc people. They were married, lookin good. Instead of feeling fear I felt envy. The envy turned into hope and momentum.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

When I spoke to a few close friends of mine (separately) privately and they all collectively supported me with nothing but kind and loving words. My feelings were affirmed and the big pieces of the puzzle regarding my identity were truly, finally clicking into place.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The first time I saw a future for me as a trans man was when I met a real trans adult. This transmasc person became like a father to me and he was pivotal to when my life was revitalized after starting my journey with gender affirming care. Trans visibility is core to trans futures.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I could really see my future as a trans masculine person was when I finally had a network of queer providers, be it doctors or barbers, who validated my experience and made me feel safe to be myself. It was like seeing a light in all the darkness

(iel/iels, il/lui)

Growing up, I remember having girl crushes long before I even knew what gay was. I’d often play the “man role” when friends and I would play “house.” As time went on, a problem was presented. I would have crushes on girls who had crushes on boys. I was confused! Why couldn’t they like me? Why were they only attracted to boys? Around 2nd grade, I would have dreams of girl I was crushing on, except in my dreams, I was able to present like a boy! I would get the girl, wake up, only to face the music. Even though I wouldn’t find testosterone until much later on in life, I’ll never forget how I’ve always felt from day one. I didn’t know a life like the one I have was possible, until I saw a Trans Man/ Trans Masc human for the first time.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

(Xe/Xem/Xyr, iel/iels, il/lui)

When I found the first things mentioning nonbinary gender(s) and/or lack thereof on Tumblr in 2010, and learned, being educated by the community who generously shared so much. I finally found people who had the same experiences as me and were at odds with "being a girl/woman." I wasn't alone? And it had an explanation. I found myself in those blog posts, shimmering like a mirror to a future I could finally behold. I came out to myself in 2012, and out to the public in 2014 as a genderqueer trans masculine person / nonbinary before finding i was also a trans man by around 2016.

I didn't wake up one morning and realize I was trans, but I did wake up one morning and realize I couldn't wear the costume anymore. I looked over at my partner and they assured me that they had my back regardless and that the chosen family we had built would do the same. Knowing that I had support and not just allies, but folks who would love me and protect me (physically and emotionally) helped me be brave enough to drop the mask.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

For me, it was starting testosterone. I hadn't imagined I could "successfully pull off" being a trans man out in the real world because everyone would be able to tell I was "faking it." Listening to my own voice drop over the next few months was a huge game-changer. My personal style changed and evolved, I grew to love my voice, and I felt joy in my body for the first time ever.

I think it was actually when I was very young - before I felt too much pressure to conform to the expectations of my gender assigned at birth. I would watch my grandpa shave his face every morning when I was around 4 or 5 years old and I wanted so badly to shave my face too. He would sometimes even put shaving cream on my face. I think looking in the mirror and doing that with him, I could see myself as trans masculine. Even when I wasn't even aware of what that meant or was. I didn't understand or uncover my transness until much later on in my life, but so many moments from my childhood were portals to what the future held for me, I just didn't know it then.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

When I started joining online transmasc spaces, I started seeing these older transmascs/trans men in their forties, fifties, sixties — there was one man who had started T at 63, I think, and it brought tears to my eyes to know I could grow up to be the old man I dreamed of.

It is NEVER too late to embrace the truth of who you are! It took me a lifetime to get here but I love who I am now. There were no words for how I felt as I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I realized I could express how I felt inside. I discovered communities online that were just like me. A lifetime of confusion, unhappiness, repression, oppression melted away. I discovered words to match my identity:non-binary transmasculine lesbian. I proudly wear these words and my pronouns. I started a new job a year and a half ago so I could begin a new chapter not hiding who I am. My company supports and respects me. They have made extra effort to alter official company paperwork to match my identity.I still feel waves of happiness every time I am addressed by proper pronouns. I have a wife who loves me for exactly who I am. The second half of my life is going to be amazing!

When I started to tape my chest and be among the public swimming shirtless, this was the first time I could see my future evolve to fully include my transmasc identity, more than before. I lived this truth as a child, but it became a reality when I started to show up in the world unapologetically (despite fear) in this way.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Honestly, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was in Elementary school when I would pretend to be Sam, because Sam could be anyone, and to me that meant I could be the nonbinary boy I didn’t get to be in regular life. It was my opportunity to imagine a world where I could be trans without knowing that’s what I was doing.

When I was a kid, I longed for short hair. This was met with hesitation, but I got what I wanted a few times. Still, though, it didn't feel right. It took me years to figure out why.

The cuts were always styled for "girls"or "women."Even as a queer person that didn't fit me. Fast forward to 2018 - I had been questioning my gender identity when I took the plunge and made an appointment at a gender-inclusive salon. It's hard enough for me to find someone who can style my curly hair much less in a gender-affirming way but I lucked out big time. Looking in the mirror after the cut almost made me cry because for the first time I felt like myself. I later came across the term trans masculine which fit, well, to a T.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I struggled with seeing my own face as that of a man for the better part of two years after coming out; for a long time, I could only see a woman and I eventually reached a point where my face in the mirror just looked like a nondescript person to me.

One day, my partner gave me a hug and I happened to be facing a small mirror on the wall. There, hugging my partner with a big grin on my face, was the first time I looked up and saw a man in the mirror. It was the first time that I felt like my transition was really going somewhere.

Being able to see myself as a man has filled in some of the blank spots in my future. It is easier to imagine a life moving forward when I feel like myself in my own dreams.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it.

I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point.

I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me.

It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

A friend of mine was starting up a brand new tabletop RPG campaign and asked me if I wanted to be a part of it. I accepted and created my character: a young wizard who was just learning about the intricacies of the real world for the first time. I wrote on my character sheet that he was going to be trans male, and my friend, who was trans herself, expressed her excitement at meeting my character and seeing how I would play as him. Other friends who were part of the campaign took notice as well, and they supported me too. Roleplaying as my little wizard guy gave me the courage to finally come out and start living the life I wanted to live. I didn't have to just dream about being masculine and confident. I could be that in real life too.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

My first major opportunity transgender artist was at LA Pride and surpassed anything I had experienced before. Previously, I had only performed at small clubs, so playing to such a massive crowd was a completely new and exhilarating experience. As I stood on stage, I witnessed people genuinely connecting with the music I had crafted in my bedroom and the dance routine we had practiced in a parking lot. In that transformative moment, I realized that I wanted to aspire for more, not just for myself but for all trans masculine individuals. I understood the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and recognizing that we are capable of achieving remarkable things.

When I saw the logo I had created displayed on a gigantic 20 ft screen, memories of my childhood flooded my mind. I recalled the pain and struggles I endured during that period of my life. Reflecting on those challenging moments, I wished I could have shared with my younger self the incredible progress that has been made since then. In the past, we walked in darkness without any representation in the mainstream. But now, there are opportunities and visibility for individuals like us that we could only dream of back then.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I met this amazing singer, Lucas, and became obsessed with his videos. Videos of times before his transition, during his transition (before his voice changed), and after. And I could just not get him out of my mind. I thought, if he can do it, I can do it.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

It was not until the invention of social media that I was exposed to the wide range of possible trans identities. I always thought that the only trans narrative was someone who always felt misaligned with their body from an early age- it wasn’t until I learned of non-binary identities that I could see a place for myself as a trans person.

As a child, I never questioned the way others presented themselves freely, but I would always questioned the way I presented myself and how I didn’t feel connected femininity until I became in touch with my masculinity.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I could see my future as trans was when I was a young kid on the playground and then my early twenties. I didn't transition until my mid twenties.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

i was 13 when i realized i was trans. i did not come out to family, i was outed when i was 15. my maternal grandfather told me he'd always support me no matter what, even if the rest of the family didn't (luckily, it was only my mother and father who didn't). that one act of support made me hopeful. he took me shopping for men's clothes that winter when he visited. it really meant a lot to me.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

The first time I saw myself as a trans masculine person was as a child. I would wear these overalls all the time and as I grew up I continued to feel the most happiness when rebelling against what I was expected to wear.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I was following a trans man's transition on Facebook and he talked about how he began to realize he wasn't a woman and I just kept seeing his story relatable memes nonbinary and gender-fluid people's stories. It gave me permission to think of what was possible for me. Slowly I thought about my own childhood and so many things began to make sense.

I didn't realize I was trans until I was around college age I didn't have the language prior to know that was a possibility. But I started slow as a young adult with changing my name changing my pronouns and my friends all supported me 100%. But it solidified for me when I went to the trans wellness conference in Philadelphia and saw so many different types of people all exisiting and in an affirming envornment. It really confirmed that I could have this life if I took the first steps.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Though I had come out years earlier in my 20s it wasn't until I had top surgery six months ago that I felt like my future was full of opportunity. It gave me greater confidence that change is achievable but I also know that even if I decide not to stay on testosterone forever or take additional steps in my transition I will always have the positive changes I've experienced thanks to my top surgery.

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

When I got my first binder when I was 19. I went off to college and could finally express myself without the judgment from my family.

If I had known at the time I was supposed to remember it I would have.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I saw my future as a trans man was the first time I saw a future for myself at all. I was a pre teen early 2010's and I saw a video from the first ever trans man I'd ever seen. He was a cosplayer in a fandom I was a part of and he was so excited to start hormones. Not only was it the first trans person I knew I'd seen but it was the first person who was an adult who was living a life I wanted.

I first realized I could have a future as myself a transmasculine person when I made a short film called DISFORIA and saw the film onscreen for the first time. The short is a psychological thriller about a young transmasc guy who returns home for Christmas to find that his family has left and sold the house without telling him and realizes... perhaps they would still be there if he had returned as the Jane they all know. I played both "Jane" and "Jack" in the film and seeing myself onscreen in a suit as Jack was one of the most affirming moments of my life up until that point -- I loved the way I looked and it felt right.

The first moment I clearly remember being able to see my full future as a transmasc person was the day after my top surgery. For the first time I felt truly and completely myself. I have never been happier and every day is better than the last now that I get to fully live in my body as myself.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

I was biking for the delivery job I had at the time. It was summer and I had taped my chest so I could wear my shirt open. Feeling the air on my skin. The rowdy boyhood I had almost denied myself surged through my veins. If I let that child free to explore maybe I could grow up to feel whole.

I landed on the transmasculine side of Tiktok and saw that trans people could live normal lives with spouses kids and jobs and we weren't all just hiding in the shadows anymore.

For a long time I couldn't picture my future as a trans person. I was nearly 40 when I came out as trans (more than 20 years after my first journey out of the closet). I was an established government attorney. I had a wonderful partner and two young children and I didn't want to imagine the upheaval that such a transition would cause. It was overwhelming and seemed selfish to even consider. So for many years I fought to keep the subconscious knowledge of my identity from bubbling to the surface. It worked for a while—until I began my journey to become a better parent. To do so I had to know myself and love myself. How could I teach my children they were beautiful inside and out when I was staying up at night convincing myself to hide the part of me that others might not understand? For the first time I cautiously started to imagine the future I could have if only I took my own advice.

(il/lui, Tous pronoms)

I think I've always been how I am. I just didn't have the words for it until I was older. I co-founded my high school's Gay Straight Alliance as a teen and I think that it ultimately helped me to be a part of a community that could understand some of what I was going through.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

As someone who transitioned in my 40s I only saw a future for myself when I was mentoring younger Transmasculine folk. When I was their age I didn't know Transmen even existed so how could I see a future for myself? It was in their mentoring-up to me that I was able to start living my own truth.

Attending Sarah Lawrence College I was surrounded by confident beautiful trans people including many transmasculine nonbinary people. Watching people move through the world with joy and acceptance helped me see that as a possibility for myself.

I was always corrected by my family for being too masculine. If I were born a boy I would have been the family's pride and joy. I left home at 16 (in the 1990s) and was able to live as my true self. It wasn't until the past decade that I even understood that there was a term for who I am. As I have immersed myself in the community I have become more comfortable with the label. There was no one "Aha! Moment" only a gradual growing into myself that enabled me to put aside my fears of gatekeepers and embrace who I am.

My gender journey was very difficult when it began - I was still a child when I realized something wasn't right. I hit puberty early and genetics did not do me well in the chest zone - it was like I was blindsided and betrayed by my own body. I spent most of my youth miserable trying to fit into boxes that didn't work for me and once I came out as a teenager having my transness doubted by the rigid standards of passing as male. I saw my future on two occasions - first in college once I was able to untangle myself from the shackles of binary gender and the roles attached. I realized that I had to fight for and be myself and what that looked like for me was not being a binary man but whatever felt right. The hardest part was recognizing that this is *my* body to change into what I want it to be not anyone else's to decide what is or isn't good enough. The second occasion was when I was finally recovering from top surgery just a year ago from writing this. That surgery was the best thing to ever happen to me - it honestly wasn't even an explosive beautiful moment of joy. It was just finally normal. Like the sun coming out after the longest rain shower.

(, il/lui, iel/iels)

When I first was introduced to the prospect that people are not always cisgender, I was absolutely confused more than anything else. Trans people around me would describe how they experienced gender, and I would mull it over for a long time--how could they be trans if they described feeling exactly like I did, and I wasn't trans? Isn't that just how everybody felt?

I was talking about this with my first queer therapist at the time, and she invited me to consider: how did I know what gender I was?

All of a sudden, things changed for me. Trans folks were no longer other people living separate lives, completely distinct from mine--I was a trans person myself!

At first, this was terrifying, to be honest. I had been given a whole road map to follow for my life as a person assigned female at birth, and suddenly I was realizing that a lot of those things weren't guarantees--in fact, they were actually entirely optional.

This kept happening for me as I got more involved in my local trans community. All of the rules in my life that I had clung to for so long started seeming less absolute, less restrictive, and more like something I could CHOOSE to take or leave based on what I wanted to give structure in my life.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I knew I could envision transitioning the first day I wore a chest binder.

I was always called a tomboy, then less nice descriptive words. I'm a teacher and "that moment" for me was when a rising middle school student (entering 6th grade) stopped me and asked my pronouns that I felt seen. This kid saw me as what I was, a human that exists outside of the role that society expected me to play.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The first time I knew I was going to be ok as a trans man was when I came out to friends in high school, and they supported me.

At 10 years old (1980) I identified with male characters and actors.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

During Covid while on instagram and Reddit. I saw happy and successful trans masc people. They were married, lookin good. Instead of feeling fear I felt envy. The envy turned into hope and momentum.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

When I spoke to a few close friends of mine (separately) privately and they all collectively supported me with nothing but kind and loving words. My feelings were affirmed and the big pieces of the puzzle regarding my identity were truly, finally clicking into place.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The first time I saw a future for me as a trans man was when I met a real trans adult. This transmasc person became like a father to me and he was pivotal to when my life was revitalized after starting my journey with gender affirming care. Trans visibility is core to trans futures.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I could really see my future as a trans masculine person was when I finally had a network of queer providers, be it doctors or barbers, who validated my experience and made me feel safe to be myself. It was like seeing a light in all the darkness

(iel/iels, il/lui)

Growing up, I remember having girl crushes long before I even knew what gay was. I’d often play the “man role” when friends and I would play “house.” As time went on, a problem was presented. I would have crushes on girls who had crushes on boys. I was confused! Why couldn’t they like me? Why were they only attracted to boys? Around 2nd grade, I would have dreams of girl I was crushing on, except in my dreams, I was able to present like a boy! I would get the girl, wake up, only to face the music. Even though I wouldn’t find testosterone until much later on in life, I’ll never forget how I’ve always felt from day one. I didn’t know a life like the one I have was possible, until I saw a Trans Man/ Trans Masc human for the first time.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

My high school English teacher assigned my class an article about Rocco Kayiatos who went by Katastrophe at the time. I didn’t have language for my transness yet, I wasn’t even out to myself as trans. But something about my teacher seeing something beautiful and valuable in Rocco helped me see it in myself as a young queer person. Rocco and I met later on in college and we’re still in touch to this day. His existence and survival has been a rare glimmer of what my future could look like and I’m grateful to be aging alongside him.

(Xe/Xem/Xyr, iel/iels, il/lui)

When I found the first things mentioning nonbinary gender(s) and/or lack thereof on Tumblr in 2010, and learned, being educated by the community who generously shared so much. I finally found people who had the same experiences as me and were at odds with "being a girl/woman." I wasn't alone? And it had an explanation. I found myself in those blog posts, shimmering like a mirror to a future I could finally behold. I came out to myself in 2012, and out to the public in 2014 as a genderqueer trans masculine person / nonbinary before finding i was also a trans man by around 2016.

I didn't wake up one morning and realize I was trans, but I did wake up one morning and realize I couldn't wear the costume anymore. I looked over at my partner and they assured me that they had my back regardless and that the chosen family we had built would do the same. Knowing that I had support and not just allies, but folks who would love me and protect me (physically and emotionally) helped me be brave enough to drop the mask.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

For me, it was starting testosterone. I hadn't imagined I could "successfully pull off" being a trans man out in the real world because everyone would be able to tell I was "faking it." Listening to my own voice drop over the next few months was a huge game-changer. My personal style changed and evolved, I grew to love my voice, and I felt joy in my body for the first time ever.

I think it was actually when I was very young - before I felt too much pressure to conform to the expectations of my gender assigned at birth. I would watch my grandpa shave his face every morning when I was around 4 or 5 years old and I wanted so badly to shave my face too. He would sometimes even put shaving cream on my face. I think looking in the mirror and doing that with him, I could see myself as trans masculine. Even when I wasn't even aware of what that meant or was. I didn't understand or uncover my transness until much later on in my life, but so many moments from my childhood were portals to what the future held for me, I just didn't know it then.

(iel/iels, il/lui)

The moment was when I saw a teen cosmo magazine cover where it said “ I used to be a girl “ and the person on the cover had began their transition, their name was lace and I had to contact this person no matter what, and I did, this was when I first heard the term “transgender “ and lace was kind enough to guide me through the steps i needed to take to get where they were at that moment. I grew up with a lot of challenges and setbacks, but as soon as I began to address my needs the desire to be numb and escape slowly subsided.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

When I started joining online transmasc spaces, I started seeing these older transmascs/trans men in their forties, fifties, sixties — there was one man who had started T at 63, I think, and it brought tears to my eyes to know I could grow up to be the old man I dreamed of.

It is NEVER too late to embrace the truth of who you are! It took me a lifetime to get here but I love who I am now. There were no words for how I felt as I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I realized I could express how I felt inside. I discovered communities online that were just like me. A lifetime of confusion, unhappiness, repression, oppression melted away. I discovered words to match my identity:non-binary transmasculine lesbian. I proudly wear these words and my pronouns. I started a new job a year and a half ago so I could begin a new chapter not hiding who I am. My company supports and respects me. They have made extra effort to alter official company paperwork to match my identity.I still feel waves of happiness every time I am addressed by proper pronouns. I have a wife who loves me for exactly who I am. The second half of my life is going to be amazing!

When I started to tape my chest and be among the public swimming shirtless, this was the first time I could see my future evolve to fully include my transmasc identity, more than before. I lived this truth as a child, but it became a reality when I started to show up in the world unapologetically (despite fear) in this way.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Honestly, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was in Elementary school when I would pretend to be Sam, because Sam could be anyone, and to me that meant I could be the nonbinary boy I didn’t get to be in regular life. It was my opportunity to imagine a world where I could be trans without knowing that’s what I was doing.

When I was a kid, I longed for short hair. This was met with hesitation, but I got what I wanted a few times. Still, though, it didn't feel right. It took me years to figure out why.

The cuts were always styled for "girls"or "women."Even as a queer person that didn't fit me. Fast forward to 2018 - I had been questioning my gender identity when I took the plunge and made an appointment at a gender-inclusive salon. It's hard enough for me to find someone who can style my curly hair much less in a gender-affirming way but I lucked out big time. Looking in the mirror after the cut almost made me cry because for the first time I felt like myself. I later came across the term trans masculine which fit, well, to a T.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I struggled with seeing my own face as that of a man for the better part of two years after coming out; for a long time, I could only see a woman and I eventually reached a point where my face in the mirror just looked like a nondescript person to me.

One day, my partner gave me a hug and I happened to be facing a small mirror on the wall. There, hugging my partner with a big grin on my face, was the first time I looked up and saw a man in the mirror. It was the first time that I felt like my transition was really going somewhere.

Being able to see myself as a man has filled in some of the blank spots in my future. It is easier to imagine a life moving forward when I feel like myself in my own dreams.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it.

I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point.

I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me.

It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

A friend of mine was starting up a brand new tabletop RPG campaign and asked me if I wanted to be a part of it. I accepted and created my character: a young wizard who was just learning about the intricacies of the real world for the first time. I wrote on my character sheet that he was going to be trans male, and my friend, who was trans herself, expressed her excitement at meeting my character and seeing how I would play as him. Other friends who were part of the campaign took notice as well, and they supported me too. Roleplaying as my little wizard guy gave me the courage to finally come out and start living the life I wanted to live. I didn't have to just dream about being masculine and confident. I could be that in real life too.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

My first major opportunity transgender artist was at LA Pride and surpassed anything I had experienced before. Previously, I had only performed at small clubs, so playing to such a massive crowd was a completely new and exhilarating experience. As I stood on stage, I witnessed people genuinely connecting with the music I had crafted in my bedroom and the dance routine we had practiced in a parking lot. In that transformative moment, I realized that I wanted to aspire for more, not just for myself but for all trans masculine individuals. I understood the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and recognizing that we are capable of achieving remarkable things.

When I saw the logo I had created displayed on a gigantic 20 ft screen, memories of my childhood flooded my mind. I recalled the pain and struggles I endured during that period of my life. Reflecting on those challenging moments, I wished I could have shared with my younger self the incredible progress that has been made since then. In the past, we walked in darkness without any representation in the mainstream. But now, there are opportunities and visibility for individuals like us that we could only dream of back then.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I met this amazing singer, Lucas, and became obsessed with his videos. Videos of times before his transition, during his transition (before his voice changed), and after. And I could just not get him out of my mind. I thought, if he can do it, I can do it.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

It was not until the invention of social media that I was exposed to the wide range of possible trans identities. I always thought that the only trans narrative was someone who always felt misaligned with their body from an early age- it wasn’t until I learned of non-binary identities that I could see a place for myself as a trans person.

As a child, I never questioned the way others presented themselves freely, but I would always questioned the way I presented myself and how I didn’t feel connected femininity until I became in touch with my masculinity.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I could see my future as trans was when I was a young kid on the playground and then my early twenties. I didn't transition until my mid twenties.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I began to explore understanding how to feel more present in my body on a day to day basis.

i was 13 when i realized i was trans. i did not come out to family, i was outed when i was 15. my maternal grandfather told me he'd always support me no matter what, even if the rest of the family didn't (luckily, it was only my mother and father who didn't). that one act of support made me hopeful. he took me shopping for men's clothes that winter when he visited. it really meant a lot to me.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I had a session with my healer who had me go DEEP. She shared with me that as young as the third trimester in the womb of my mother I made the choice to be born female at birth to become a trans non-binary man. That's when I knew the truth. Before that I was going back and forth and denying or doubting. From that moment onwards when I connected to the fetus version of myself I knew for sure I am a non-binary trans man.

The first time I saw myself as a trans masculine person was as a child. I would wear these overalls all the time and as I grew up I continued to feel the most happiness when rebelling against what I was expected to wear.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

I was following a trans man's transition on Facebook and he talked about how he began to realize he wasn't a woman and I just kept seeing his story relatable memes nonbinary and gender-fluid people's stories. It gave me permission to think of what was possible for me. Slowly I thought about my own childhood and so many things began to make sense.

I didn't realize I was trans until I was around college age I didn't have the language prior to know that was a possibility. But I started slow as a young adult with changing my name changing my pronouns and my friends all supported me 100%. But it solidified for me when I went to the trans wellness conference in Philadelphia and saw so many different types of people all exisiting and in an affirming envornment. It really confirmed that I could have this life if I took the first steps.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

Though I had come out years earlier in my 20s it wasn't until I had top surgery six months ago that I felt like my future was full of opportunity. It gave me greater confidence that change is achievable but I also know that even if I decide not to stay on testosterone forever or take additional steps in my transition I will always have the positive changes I've experienced thanks to my top surgery.

I was closeted still and attending college. I had a biology-related course where my professor was transgender. My professor was the first openly transgender person I had met in my life. They had transitioned a little later in life but had continued onwards holding a wonderful career and genuinely just being an excellent mentor and teacher. It was a slow realization over the course of the two semesters I attended their class but I began truly making plans for my future instead of assuming I would succumb to my fairly serious depression and other mental health issues. It all finally became clear to me when I had transferred to a university and I decided to cut my hair and wear a binder for the first time. I put on my favorite shirt and cried when I finally saw myself and that I was going to make it.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

When I got my first binder when I was 19. I went off to college and could finally express myself without the judgment from my family.

If I had known at the time I was supposed to remember it I would have.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first time I saw my future as a trans man was the first time I saw a future for myself at all. I was a pre teen early 2010's and I saw a video from the first ever trans man I'd ever seen. He was a cosplayer in a fandom I was a part of and he was so excited to start hormones. Not only was it the first trans person I knew I'd seen but it was the first person who was an adult who was living a life I wanted.

I first realized I could have a future as myself a transmasculine person when I made a short film called DISFORIA and saw the film onscreen for the first time. The short is a psychological thriller about a young transmasc guy who returns home for Christmas to find that his family has left and sold the house without telling him and realizes... perhaps they would still be there if he had returned as the Jane they all know. I played both "Jane" and "Jack" in the film and seeing myself onscreen in a suit as Jack was one of the most affirming moments of my life up until that point -- I loved the way I looked and it felt right.

The first moment I clearly remember being able to see my full future as a transmasc person was the day after my top surgery. For the first time I felt truly and completely myself. I have never been happier and every day is better than the last now that I get to fully live in my body as myself.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

The first few years I was in community with other trans folks and working out my own gender identity most of the transmasc narratives I encountered came out of Black or white contexts. While I felt inspired and had many resonances with these stories 'being a man' was presented in a fairly binary way that wasn't consistent with my experience and couldn't quite be mapped neatly onto my ethnicities. It wasn't until I saw a documentary film called Kumu Hina in 2014 that tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu a native Hawaiian teacher and cultural practitioner who is māhū a word that translates to "middle" that I began to believe that there was a culturally specific and possible path for me to realize and embrace manhood. It would take a few more years to identify the ways I wanted to embody that but learning about Hina's story and her work was certainly a watershed moment in 'becoming' for me.

I was biking for the delivery job I had at the time. It was summer and I had taped my chest so I could wear my shirt open. Feeling the air on my skin. The rowdy boyhood I had almost denied myself surged through my veins. If I let that child free to explore maybe I could grow up to feel whole.

I landed on the transmasculine side of Tiktok and saw that trans people could live normal lives with spouses kids and jobs and we weren't all just hiding in the shadows anymore.

For a long time I couldn't picture my future as a trans person. I was nearly 40 when I came out as trans (more than 20 years after my first journey out of the closet). I was an established government attorney. I had a wonderful partner and two young children and I didn't want to imagine the upheaval that such a transition would cause. It was overwhelming and seemed selfish to even consider. So for many years I fought to keep the subconscious knowledge of my identity from bubbling to the surface. It worked for a while—until I began my journey to become a better parent. To do so I had to know myself and love myself. How could I teach my children they were beautiful inside and out when I was staying up at night convincing myself to hide the part of me that others might not understand? For the first time I cautiously started to imagine the future I could have if only I took my own advice.

(il/lui, Tous pronoms)

I think I've always been how I am. I just didn't have the words for it until I was older. I co-founded my high school's Gay Straight Alliance as a teen and I think that it ultimately helped me to be a part of a community that could understand some of what I was going through.

(il/lui, iel/iels)

As someone who transitioned in my 40s I only saw a future for myself when I was mentoring younger Transmasculine folk. When I was their age I didn't know Transmen even existed so how could I see a future for myself? It was in their mentoring-up to me that I was able to start living my own truth.

Attending Sarah Lawrence College I was surrounded by confident beautiful trans people including many transmasculine nonbinary people. Watching people move through the world with joy and acceptance helped me see that as a possibility for myself.

I was always corrected by my family for being too masculine. If I were born a boy I would have been the family's pride and joy. I left home at 16 (in the 1990s) and was able to live as my true self. It wasn't until the past decade that I even understood that there was a term for who I am. As I have immersed myself in the community I have become more comfortable with the label. There was no one "Aha! Moment" only a gradual growing into myself that enabled me to put aside my fears of gatekeepers and embrace who I am.

My gender journey was very difficult when it began - I was still a child when I realized something wasn't right. I hit puberty early and genetics did not do me well in the chest zone - it was like I was blindsided and betrayed by my own body. I spent most of my youth miserable trying to fit into boxes that didn't work for me and once I came out as a teenager having my transness doubted by the rigid standards of passing as male. I saw my future on two occasions - first in college once I was able to untangle myself from the shackles of binary gender and the roles attached. I realized that I had to fight for and be myself and what that looked like for me was not being a binary man but whatever felt right. The hardest part was recognizing that this is *my* body to change into what I want it to be not anyone else's to decide what is or isn't good enough. The second occasion was when I was finally recovering from top surgery just a year ago from writing this. That surgery was the best thing to ever happen to me - it honestly wasn't even an explosive beautiful moment of joy. It was just finally normal. Like the sun coming out after the longest rain shower.

Dessin de personnage par Joey Borrelli.