Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it.
I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point.
I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me.
It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.